Netflix has thousands of films to rent. I try to squeeze in as many films as I can since I pay a monthly fee. I skip the junk you can rent at Blockbuster and go straight to the sublime, irreverent and just plain weird you can’t find anywhere else. Consider me your trash man and treasure hunter as we experiment with movies we never knew existed.

Experiment Volume 1: Offbeat Documentaries

Documentaries are often dry, but full of information. These two were anything but arid and I learned some valuable lessons to boot. Do you know how to catch a 40-pound catfish with your hands or about the Highway Safety Foundation’s deluge into gay porn? I do.

Okie Noodling
(2001) Dir. Brad Beesley 59 min.
Buy Okie Noodling from Amazon.com!
Rent Okie Noodling from Netflix!

Deep in the heart of Oklahoma there are men taking part in an age-old ritual dating back to Native American traditions. No, they’re not holding pow-wows or smoking peace pipes. What could they be doing you wonder? Why, catching catfish with their hands, of course. Or perhaps it’s the catfish catching the man?

These good ol’ boys stick their hands in the muddy catfish homes and let the mammoth fish latch onto their arms with their teeth. Scars, blood and a small chance of death always haunt these anti-reelers but the thrill of the hunt is worth it for them. And these aren’t friendly pet store style catfish, these bastards look like sharks with whiskers. A prize catch is thought to be around 40-pounds; just imagine going to your local swimming pool and letting a 6-year-old chomp into your arm. That’s about the scope of things.

Another highlight of the film is the country-bumpkins-on-acid soundtrack by fellow Oklahomans the Flaming Lips. Also entertaining is the special feature of Lips front man Wayne Coyne explaining how he got roped into this mess.

These proud hillbillies claim they are getting closer to nature by forgoing the rod and reel. I felt like I was one step closer to a mental hospital for having watched it. This film is too surreal to laugh at and too unreal to stop watching. Okie Noodling is an hour of my life I’ll never get back, but next time I’m knee deep in backwoods accents and neck deep in river water I’ll know just where to stick my hand. Aren’t you curious?

Hell’s Highway: The True Story of Highway Safety Films
(2003) Dir. Brett Woods  91 min.
Buy Hell's Highway from Amazon.com!

Rent Hell's Highway from Netflix!

Being 16 was a complete nightmare. Puberty, acne and high-school managed to tie my life into knots I’m still working out. Adding to this was the dream-come-true/horror story of getting a drivers license. Compiled with the sleepless nights brought on by the ancient safety films you were forced to endure it was hell. I can’t see a fender bender anymore without thinking about the blood-soaked windshields, vacant limbs and metallic carnage these movies imbedded in my brain. These films make Sam Peckinpah flicks look like “Fivel Goes West.”

So of course I jumped at the chance to watch “Hell’s Highway,” learn more about these films and relive the horror.

The Highway Safety Foundation (HSF) began a long partnership with the Highway Patrol in Cleveland, OH in the 1960s that’s scared countless teens shitless. These memorable films were poorly budgeted, badly acted, morally heavy-handed and a complete bloodbath. Films like “Highways of Agony,” “Options to Live” and “Teenicide” show in brutal detail the evils of highway negligence. Characters like “Fast Eddie” learn valuable lessons by breaking the law and dying. Book ending these lessons are gruesome, real-life footage of car accidents. Bloody victims screaming in agony and dead drivers slumped in a twist of shrapnel were used as hard-hitting lessons. These films still have the ability to churn stomachs and get their message across decades later and are well documented here.

It turns out the HSF also dove into police training videos as well. Using hidden cameras the films depict a series of crimes about shoplifting and kidnapping. Personally, if a woman can hide $50 worth of steak under her dress, I say she keeps it, laws or not. But the most disturbing training video dealt with that old urban myth of public restrooms becoming gay brothels at night. These films unintentionally became, perhaps, the first gay pornos, as fat, middle aged men got their jollies while the police taped it. It’s a bizarre footnote to these films and makes you definitely want to skip the potty breaks next time you’re at the park.  

Hell’s Highway is an intense mix of kitsch and gore that feels as disturbing today as it did to a generation under Kennedy’s America. The documentary does an amazing job of documenting the HSF’s rise and throws in a ton of top-shelf film clips. This is one scary documentary.

Rent DVDs from Netflix - 13,000 titles - Free Shipping - No Late Fees!