Jimmy Fallon will host this years pretend-awards show for the evil network that has bee quietly stealing your mind and teaching culture how to be more superficial and less interospective for over two decades now. Having said that, we've got my fingers crossed for Mean Girls to sweep this year.

BEST MOVIE:

• Kill Bill Vol. 2
• Napoleon Dynamite
• Spider-Man 2
• Ray
• The Incredibles

BEST MALE PERFORMANCE:

• Jamie Foxx, Ray
• Will Smith, Hitch
• Brad Pitt, Troy
• Matt Damon, The Bourne Supremacy
• Leonardo DiCaprio, The Aviator

BEST FEMALE PERFORMANCE:

• Uma Thurman, Kill Bill Vol. 2
• Lindsay Lohan, Mean Girls
• Hilary Swank, Million Dollar Baby
• Rachel McAdams, The Notebook
• Natalie Portman, Garden State

BEST COMEDIC PERFORMANCE:

• Antonio Banderas, Shrek 2
• Dustin Hoffman, Meet the Fockers
• Will Ferrell, Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
• Ben Stiller, Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
• Will Smith, Hitch

BEST ONSCREEN TEAM:

• Lindsay Lohan, Rachel McAdams, Lacey Chabert and Amanda Seyfried, Mean Girls
• Craig T. Nelson, Holly Hunter, Spencer Fox and Sarah Vowell, The Incredibles
• Will Ferrell, Paul Rudd, Steve Carell and David Koechner, Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
• Vince Vaughn, Christine Taylor, Justin Long, Alan Tudyk, Stephen Root, Joel David Moore and Chris Williams, Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
• John Cho and Kal Penn, Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle

BEST VILLAIN:

• Tom Cruise, Collateral
• Ben Stiller, Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
• Rachel McAdams, Mean Girls
• Jim Carrey, Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
• Alfred Molina, Spider-Man 2

BREAKTHROUGH PERFORMANCE, MALE:

• Jon Heder , Napoleon Dynamite
• Tim McGraw, Friday Night Lights
• Zach Braff, Garden State
• Freddie Highmore, Finding Neverland
• Tyler Perry, Diary of a Mad Black Woman

BREAKTHROUGH PERFORMANCE, FEMALE:

• Rachel McAdams, Mean Girls
• Ashanti, Coach Carter
• Elisha Cuthbert, The Girl Next Door
• Bryce Dallas Howard, The Village
• Emmy Rossum, The Day After Tomorrow

BEST ACTION SEQUENCE:
• Destruction of Los Angeles, The Day After Tomorrow
• The Subway Battle, Spider-Man 2
• Beverly Hills Plane Crash, The Aviator
• The Moscow Car Chase, The Bourne Supremacy
• The Desert Terrorist Assault, Team America: World Police

BEST FIGHT:

• The Battle of the News Teams, Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
• Daryl Hannah vs. Uma Thurman, Kill Bill Vol. 2
• Brad Pitt vs. Eric Bana, Troy
• Ziyi Zhang vs. The Emperor's Guards , House of Flying Daggers

BEST KISS:
• Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling, The Notebook
• Natalie Portman and Zach Braff, Garden State
• Gwyneth Paltrow and Jude Law, Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow
• Jennifer Garner and Natassia Malthe, Elektra
• Elisha Cuthbert and Emile Hirsch, The Girl Next Door

BEST MUSICAL PERFORMANCE:

• Jennifer Garner and Mark Ruffalo, 13 Going On 30
• Will Ferrell, Paul Rudd, Steve Carell and David Koechner, Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
• John Cho and Kal Penn, Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle
• Jon Heder, Napoleon Dynamite

BEST FRIGHTENED PERFORMANCE:

• Cary Elwes, Saw
• Sarah Michelle Gellar, The Grudge
• Jennifer Tilly, Seed of Chucky
• Mya, Cursed
• Dakota Fanning, Hide and Seek

BEST VIDEO GAME BASED ON A MOVIE:

• Spider-Man 2
• Van Helsing
• Chronicles of Riddick: Escape From Butcher Bay
• Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
• The Incredibles