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Quote of the day:
"Making the simple complicated is commonplace; making the complicated simple, awesomely simple, that's creativity." -- Charles Mingus |
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Reader Discussions:
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on July 27, 2005 12:10 PM
hi
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on July 27, 2005 12:11 PM
SPF you are the man!
by the way may I add that george bush is an ugly moron (hoping people will hate me now).
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on July 27, 2005 12:12 PM
I hate you you god damn jew!!.....did that work for ya??
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on July 27, 2005 12:12 PM
jew.. thats f-unny! hehe.
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on July 27, 2005 12:14 PM
hey but what do you all think of Osama, he is my idol, it was beautiful when those towers fell over, pretty firework!
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on July 27, 2005 12:15 PM
I can't wait for the movie, I hope it's directed by Michael Bay and stars Ben Affleck as a firefighter.
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on July 27, 2005 12:16 PM
Bleeeergh!! bleeeergh!! wha-a bleeeeeergh!!
nnnnoooooooooooooo not Ben bleeeeergh fucking blleeeeeeeerggh Affleck!
Don't say those digusting things, Ben afflecks face mutated..
why would you want such a disgusting blob as an actor?
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on July 27, 2005 12:16 PM
Come on think about it- 9/11: The Movie
Cuba Gooding Jr and Ben Affleck star as Firefighters who come together and risk all in the name of Truth and Honour and America. Every scene has an American flag in the background and no shot lasts longer than .5 of a second. Directed by Michael Bay.
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on July 27, 2005 12:17 PM
haha, yeah that would be great ben affleck as a firefighter crashing himself in a twintower.
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on July 27, 2005 12:19 PM
Michael Bay announces cast of '9/11':
Ashton Kutcher - President George W. Bush
Vin Diesel - Dick Cheney
Demi Moore - Laura Bush
Paris Hilton - Jenna Bush
J. K. Simmons - Donald Rumsfeld
James Gandolfini - Rudy Giuliani
Michael Moore - Father O'Malley
Gene Hackman - Police Commissioner Bernard Kerik
Ben Affleck - Fire Commissioner Tom von Essen
Anthony Hopkins - Tom Ridge
Topher Grace - George Pataki
Rob Schnieder - Tony Blair
John Waters - Jacques Chirac
Ron Perlman - Osama bin Laden
Harrison Ford - Saddam Hussein
Wesley Snipes - UN Secretary General
Mel Gibson - Pope John Paul II
Leonardo DiCaprio - 9/11 hijacker
Tobey Maguire - 9/11 hijacker
Chris O'Donnell - 9/11 hijacker
Ethan Hawke - 9/11 hijacker
Frankie Muniz - 9/11 hijacker
Will Ferrell - United Airlines Pilot
Chyna - WTC Survivor
Victoria Gotti - WTC Survivor
Joan Rivers - WTC Survivor
Michael Jackson - WTC Survivor
George W. Bush - Satan
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on July 27, 2005 12:20 PM
Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein are the villians of the picture, it wouldn't be a big, overblown American movie without a couple of Brits playing the bad guys. I'd go for David Suchet and Alan Rickman.
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on July 27, 2005 12:21 PM
Michael Bay announces cast of '9/11 2: The Big Brother Factor':
Vin Diesel - President Dick Cheney
Brendan Fraser - Vice-President Paul Wolfowitz
Brigitte Nielsen - Lynne Cheney
Tammy Lynn Michaels - Mary Cheney
Shaquille O'Neal - Colin Powell
RuPaul - Condoleeza Rice
J. K. Simmons - Donald Rumsfeld
Dana Carvey - Ari Fleischer
Rob Schnieder - Tony Blair
John Waters - Jacques Chirac
Tom Hanks - Gerhard Schroder
Nicholas Cage - Ariel Sharon
Ali G. - Yasser Arafat
Ron Perlman - Osama bin Laden
Kevin Federline - Saad bin Laden
Kevin Smith - Mullah Omar
Ben Kingsley - Hamid Karzai
Pierce Brosnan - Pervez Musharraf
Harrison Ford - Saddam Hussein
Kristin Chenoweth - Jessica Lynch
Adam Sandler - Charles Graner
LaToya Jackson - Lynndie England
Michael Caine - Wolf Blitzer
Tom Cruise - Pope Benedict XVI
Fat Joe - Zacharias Moussaoui
Christopher Walken - US Marine
Kathy Bates - US Marine
Steve Buscemi - US Marine
Woody Allen - Apache Helicopter Pilot
George W. Bush - Satan
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on July 27, 2005 12:22 PM
INT: Tower 1
Fireman #2
We gotta get outta here man! This Tower could collapse at any moment!
Tom von Essen
No way man! As long as there's still people in this building then I'm gonna DO MY JOB!
He runs up the stairs
and into the burning
inferno.
Fireman #2
TOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!
Tom reaches the top
floor and finds a
crying baby.
Tom von Essen
Don't worry little buddy, I'll save you!
He grabs the nearest
American flag and
jumps out the window
just as a massive
fireball races
towards him. He then
uses the flag as a
parachute and floats
gently to the ground
still holding the
baby.
Fireman #5
Wow Tom! You sure are a real hero!
Tom von Essen
Don't thank me, thank America!
They hear a sound and look up to see the second plane about to hit when out of the clouds swoops George W Bush piloting Air Force One and knocks it out of the way of the tower. Everyone claps and cheers as Bush salutes them out of the window and flies off into the sunset.
The End
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on July 27, 2005 12:23 PM
^^ thats a touching little story you coughed up there. Its the beautifull that this thread should end there.
Oh well too bad i fellt to need to posts and try to get the last word.
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on July 27, 2005 12:24 PM
I'm going to start a petition for Michael Bay to direct this masterpiece-to-be.
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on July 27, 2005 12:25 PM
unfortunatly in the sequel george bush is waving to the people but lets go of his steering wheel and accidently enters the tower with his airplane while the cast of the first movie was still partying in the tower.
george bush his face is being eaten away by the flames but the hero is still waving to the citizens of Omerica, then his hole body is pressed in the tower with his plane and becomes one with the skeletal inner body wich was supposed to protect the building.
the building is beginning to heat up and the melting stories are beginning to crash down.
america's favorite hero ben affleck sees the roof above him collapsing and he starts running.
he reaches the stares and is running superfast downstares while everything is collapsing behind him.
he can hear the people being crushed behind him but he is determined to survife, he reaches ground level and quikly runs to the main exit with everything collapsing behind him and just before he is crushed he jumps out the building into the arms of his wife gwyneth paltrow.
everybody's happy and clapping when they see that and the couple kisses and everybody is happy, even out of the rubble comes micheal jackson and he gets elected as new president and micheal rules over the world with a smile.
then fade to black and the text "6000 random shemps died during the crash of the towers"
the end..
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on July 27, 2005 12:26 PM
It should be a trilogy, the first movie about the Twin Towers, the second about the Pentagon and the third about that plane that the passengers brought down.
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on July 27, 2005 12:29 PM
Michael Bay announces cast of '9/11 3: The Final Sacrifice':
Jocelyn Wildenstein - President Hilary Clinton
John Goodman - First Gentleman Bill Clinton
Nicky Hilton - Chelsea Clinton
Darlene Cates - Vice President Madeline Albright
Joel Schumacher - Sandy Berger
Al Franken - White House Press Secretary
Robert De Niro - Michael Bloomberg
Kevin Spacey - Joe Kelly
James Gandolfini - Rudy Giuliani
Gene Simmons - Donald Trump
Ray Romano - Rick Santorum
Dustin Hoffman - Arlen Specter
Anthony Hopkins - Tom Ridge
Kevin James - Todd Beamer
Harvey Fierstein - Mark Bingham
Penelope Ann Miller - Lisa Beamer
Rob Schneider - Tony Blair
Tom Hanks - Gerhard Schroder
John Waters - Jacques Chirac
Russell Crowe - Nicholas Sarkozy
Jenna Jameson - Angela Merkel
Harrison Ford - Saddam Hussein
Liam Neeson - Abu al-Zarqawi
Randy Quaid - Gen. Geoffrey Miller
Dennis Quaid - Camp Kuwait Supervisor
Ron Perlman - Osama bin Laden
Mark Hammill - Afghan Warlord
Hayden Christensen - Poppy Farmer
Jack Nicholson - Mark Felt/Deep Throat
George Burns - God (archive footage)
Jennifer Love Hewitt - Chorus of Archangels
Sienna Miller - Britney Spears
George W. Bush - Satan
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on July 27, 2005 12:29 PM
Then you'd have the prequel be about when they tried to bomb the WTC in 1992.
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on July 27, 2005 12:30 PM
Yeah, but you should do that after the other three... and with a younger Osama, being left to die beneath the rubble of the parking basement by a firefighter, the same he will face in the 9/11 sequel, right in the top of one the towers. Then Osama could kill this older firefighter, while a younger one screams "BEN!!!" from another building and...
Nah. It's never gonna work.
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on July 27, 2005 12:31 PM
I can't wait for it to come out on DVD in loads and loads of different editions. Then they can make a TV spin off show and release it in 3D... the possibilties are endless.
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on July 27, 2005 12:31 PM
I can't stand Bush or this administration, but maybe it's not cool to make fun of 9/11 because of the innocents who died?
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on July 27, 2005 12:32 PM
If you actually read what everyone's said then it's pretty clear that we've been making fun of Hollywood action movies and not 9/11.
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![Digital Theatre [DTheatre.com]](images/logo.gif){kind=logo}
Those tricky, geeky, emotional bastards over at Aintitcool.com has been sent a review of a draft (from a few weeks ago) of the X3 script. Moriarity, a decent reviewer and regular contributor to the site has written an open letter to the head of Fox concerning the limp reviews of the script and the horrible managment of the X-Men franchise. Click over for geek anger, unleased.
