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Quote of the day:
"Patience is the best remedy for every trouble." -- Titus Maccius Plautus |
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 A Solid, Non-Jedi-Geek EPISODE III Review!
By Wind(up)bird on May 11, 2005 7:45 AM
Finally, a review of Episode III that feels balanced (so many have gushed like stooges about the damn thing; see Kevin Smith's review). Garth, the man behind Darkhorizons.com, gives us a clamer, less Jedi-geek account of how this film stands up to the others, and addresses whether or not Lucas has improved on the crappy chunks of cheese that plagued Episodes 1 & 2.
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Reader Discussions:
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 11, 2005 2:48 PM
"The romance is still awkwardly bad, not helped by either actor. Portman and McGregor are capable of so much more, yet they've both been heavily hampered in these movies. McGregor seems to snap out of it at times in this but Portman, stuck in a 'stay at home wife' role this time around seems bored. Christensen's acting has gone from wooden soap opera level to very average mainstream - thankfully toning down the attempts at ranting and trying for something a little more understated this time".
Maybe this guy should learn which actors play what role.
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 11, 2005 11:15 PM
face it the acting is terrible. George dosnt care about acting, he cares about the story so it will never be as good as the first three.
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 12, 2005 1:12 AM
I thought, people agreed the acting was bad in the originals
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 12, 2005 10:04 AM
Its hard to tell really. I kinda like the acting in the origianal three....but maybe when they came out they seemed worse.
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 12, 2005 12:22 PM
the acting from (Mark Hamill to The Scottish dude who played Vader -I forget his name-) in 'Empire' was the best... 'A New Hope' was decent (especially Harrison Ford's witty Solo), and 'Jedi was the average caper acting. But the acting in the 'Menace' (except Neeson) and 'Clones' (except, well... nobody) sucked major, you know what...
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 12, 2005 11:33 PM
I agree with most of that but except for the last comment. I think Ewan McGregor did very well(he made his voice a bit more gruf and almost sounds like a younger version of Sir Alec Guiness)very impresive if you pay attention. And of course Samual Jackson is awesome and is always a good actor....he never comes off as cheesy at anytime during Ep.2.Portman wasnt as bad as some people think in this one...its just cause she had to act around a terrible actor such as chris. He gave her a bad image and if you forget about him and shut him out, she's actual pretty good.And of corse Christopher Lee is awesome. One of the greats. So just pay close attention and you will see the goods.(all the action and bullshit gets in the way, try to forget it and youll find the good acting.
by the way....Im the J man...please dont delete me, I have the right to this opinion.
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 13, 2005 2:18 AM
U cant really say Vader's acting was good, its the voice that makes that character.
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Posted by i dont know (direoswald@hotmail.com) on May 13, 2005 3:21 AM
hey no big fan of star wars since i just only saw a new hope for the first time on tv the other day, but i read one of da reviews....and it said darth vader opens his mouth??
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 13, 2005 8:04 AM
"And of course Samual Jackson is awesome and is always a good actor....he never comes off as cheesy at anytime during Ep.2".
Surely you're forgetting "This party's over".
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 13, 2005 11:33 AM
that part was cool. Your dum.
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 14, 2005 1:54 AM
it's sad because all of these actors had experience in acting, even Hayden! from that guy's review, the movie should turn out good. george lucas knows what he's doing know and he'll end this sometimes whimpery prequel with a bang. by the way, we can't forget about Frank Oz either! his acting is always good!
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 14, 2005 1:57 AM
oh god, here we go again with another geek and nerd debate.... wait, let me adjust my nerd had...(squish).
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 14, 2005 3:46 AM
It's worse, these geeks and nerds all sound like they're about 12 years old.
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 14, 2005 6:27 AM
star wars ep3 2night wooHoo!
(workin' in a cinema so much coolnEss)
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 14, 2005 1:50 PM
Im 76 yrs. old and have cancer of the penis.
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 14, 2005 3:14 PM
no way
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 14, 2005 3:15 PM
no way
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 14, 2005 3:15 PM
its not that bad
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 14, 2005 8:06 PM
balls cancer is worse
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 15, 2005 12:27 AM
" oh god, here we go again with another geek and nerd debate.... wait, let me adjust my nerd had...(squish)."
Racial wars on forums are more fun then geek/nerds debates.
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 15, 2005 5:02 AM
Shutup you fucking n!gger Jew!
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 16, 2005 4:30 AM
"Shutup you fucking n!gger Jew!"
If there's one thing I hate more than racism, it's black people...
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 16, 2005 7:31 AM
Gypsy's are worse.
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 16, 2005 1:24 PM
fine f u ck u then
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 16, 2005 1:26 PM
f
u
c
k
n
i
g
g
e
r
s
a
n
d
j
e
w
s
a
n
d
8============D
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 16, 2005 1:27 PM
get john-boys mom damnit
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 16, 2005 1:27 PM
ya lets tagteam it n-i-g-g-a
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 16, 2005 1:28 PM
h
o
l
l
a
h
o
l
l
a
n
i
g
gimmy a cig
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 16, 2005 1:29 PM
fuckitoya
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 16, 2005 1:29 PM
fuck starwars
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 16, 2005 1:31 PM
lin minmay is hot
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 16, 2005 1:31 PM
\ \(\)/ / its a pussy bitch ........................ 8====D
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 16, 2005 1:32 PM
guys have p e n i s e s and girls have v a g i n a s
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Let's get back to Star Wars
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 16, 2005 3:16 PM
A kid and his mom go to the zoo. The kid says "hey mommy! look at the seal!!" The seal then goes "arr!! arr! arr!" Then the seal spontaniously combusts. "arr!! argg! ARGHGGHHYYYG!!!!" The kid begins to cry at the horrific scene. The mom looks at her child about to comfort him, but he implodes before she gets there. She is stunned, and in this moment gets picked off by a blind gorilla sniper. The blind gorilla then dies while attemptig to eat a broom. Then, a nuclear missile from North Korea hits the zoo and triggers 23 cop cars to run over a bunch of blueberries in a cave underground in the exact area of Napoleon's death on Saturn.
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RE: Let's get back to Star Wars
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 16, 2005 5:39 PM
i red the story above again to see if theres an hidden joke. There is no hidden joke i want those 30 second of my life back or you will pay big time.
About the racial wars discussion: whats your oppinion about cubans? to be more specific i mean those that live in the usa. Give me your oppinion about that please.
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RE: Let's get back to Star Wars
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 16, 2005 11:40 PM
whos the bitch that coppied my 8===D?
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RE: Let's get back to Star Wars
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 17, 2005 8:22 AM
Jesus what a shitty story! I want those five minutes of my life back. Yea, I'm a slow reader.
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RE: Let's get back to Star Wars
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 17, 2005 7:35 PM
"About the racial wars discussion: whats your oppinion about cubans? to be more specific i mean those that live in the usa. Give me your oppinion about that please."
Rowboat inc. serving cubans since 1863!
Before issueing your greencard please fill in this survey: I came to America to: 1. Deal drugs 2. Wellfare 3. Murder 4. All of above
knowing cubans he probably fills in 4.
"whoes the bitch that coppied my 8===D?"
Somebody that cant draw?
"Jesus what a shitty story! I want those five minutes of my life back. Yea, I'm a slow reader."
Indeed that story sucked and it had no hidden joke or whatsoever what a waste of time I also want those 5 minutes of my life back.
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RE: Let's get back to Star Wars
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 18, 2005 3:22 AM
Star Wars is a good movie but I don't how they can move stuff with their minds!?
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RE: Let's get back to Star Wars
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 18, 2005 12:47 PM
they yose the force you retard
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RE: Let's get back to Star Wars
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 18, 2005 12:48 PM
lets all be friends
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RE: Let's get back to Star Wars
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 18, 2005 1:29 PM
They use the force? That's just a cop out.
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RE: Let's get back to Star Wars
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 19, 2005 1:33 AM
they use the force to mindrape you.
download a nice star wars small movie here: http://www.clanplay.com/forums/showthread.php?t=14288&page;=1&highlight;=star+wars+nerds
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 19, 2005 3:27 AM
Who wants to see Star Wars Episode 3 Revenge of the Sith???
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 19, 2005 5:00 PM
having seen the movie, i thought it was very, very good. granted, i'm a fan, and granted, it could've been better, but lucas redeemed himself and created the most powerful movie i have ever seen. maybe it wasnt even the fact that it was THAT good of a movie, but since you know how everything fits in (you know the future AND that past) it just makes it seem so much better.
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 19, 2005 8:37 PM
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/video/nerds.html
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 19, 2005 10:36 PM
any of you starwars nerds got mindraped lately?
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 20, 2005 1:13 AM
Alrite the film was out yesterday, who saw it and what did you think???
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 20, 2005 1:50 AM
Brilliant film, thought not quite up there with the original trilogy, but its hot on "Jedi's" heels. George Lucas grew up making this film, though Darth Vader screaming NOOOO! didn't work 4 me. Star Wars bashinghas been quite popular in recent years, and I think that some people are just jumbing the band wagon, as 1 & 2 aren't that bad, a little disapointing, but not awrful films, i bet those of u who do slag them off have still got a copy sitting on u'r shelf, hmmm i think i'm right.
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 20, 2005 6:42 AM
There wasn't enough Jar Jar!
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 20, 2005 7:43 AM
I'm waiting for War of the Worlds...
This series has gone from something great to something that stinks and rots in a forest somewhere.
I want my $11 bucks back?
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 20, 2005 10:03 AM
I thought it good, not great. But the fight scenes were awesome. At times I thought it jumped alittle, also I swear Vader was abit skinny.
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 20, 2005 2:13 PM
Well, whatever way you cut it Vader was 20 odd years younger than he is in A New Hope.
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 20, 2005 2:53 PM
this movie was da bomb and if anyone didnt like it fuck them.
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 20, 2005 7:34 PM
" this movie was da bomb and if anyone didnt like it fuck them."
You sure as hell back your oppinion up with a shitload of valid points.
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 21, 2005 4:54 PM
Can someone tell me what the Hell is up with this?
http://gwiezdne-wojny.pl/grafika/2004/cze/lbf.jpg
Was he in a scene that was cut or something?
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 21, 2005 8:07 PM
lol
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episode III mistakes
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 22, 2005 1:41 AM
The one mistake I noticed was that Padme died and in Retrun of the Jedi Luke will ask Leia about their mum and she will answer that seh has seen her.
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Digital Effects are unrealistic
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 22, 2005 4:15 AM
I yearn for the old Yoda of the older movies. He may have been a puppet but at least he looked solid. These digital graphics and effects look unreal , almost like you can see right through them. They don't look real, there is no surface, and that takes away from the enjoyment of watching the film. Just because something is new, does not make it better. The old movies looked real.
Mysterystevenson
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RE: Digital Effects are unrealistic
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 22, 2005 9:03 AM
"The one mistake I noticed was that Padme died and in Retrun of the Jedi Luke will ask Leia about their mum and she will answer that seh has seen her".
The only thing I can think off is that in that scene Leia is talking about her adopted mother. The only problem with that is it kinda fucks up that whole scene. Luke asks her about her mother because he wants to know about HIS mother. I guess it was always going to be hard for George Lucas because the movie had to end with the twins being born but he couldn't have Padme still alive at the end because everyone would want to know what happened to her.
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RE: Digital Effects are unrealistic
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 23, 2005 2:02 AM
I agree I think shes talking about the adopted mother.
But how come it takes 20 years for the death star to be completed, whereas in return of the jedi its back again???
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RE: Digital Effects are unrealistic
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 23, 2005 5:57 AM
Maybe they'd gotten the hang of it?
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 23, 2005 1:11 PM
Yeah I thought he did look skinny...way too skinny. You would figure they would just make him Vader and not "Young Vader." I guess in this way they figure they can parallel the darkside to eating at Burger King. The more you use it the fatter you get? Owell...
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 23, 2005 1:18 PM
Ugh, I swear...The second movie left you with the feeling that there were going to be so many different sub-plots that it would make your head spin-without even using the force. There was so much that Lucas could have put into the film other than just feeding us the facts--facts that we were already aware of for that matter. The Empire could have taken out bounties on the remaining Jedi, Vader in the suit could have done more than just a cameo appearance that was full of bad dialogue (i.e. NOOOOOOO!!!!) and you could have even had Sidious secretly training Anikin in the ways of Dark Side and THEN name him Lord Vader, ya know after he actually becomes a lord...Owell... I was truly looking forward to seeing Boba Fett in this film especially if he were to have gotten some better armor cause let's face it, he looks like he's a homeless bounty hunter or at least one that is not quite sucessful. Kinda like a starving artist or something.
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RE: Digital Effects are unrealistic
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 23, 2005 1:28 PM
"I agree I think shes talking about the adopted mother.
But how come it takes 20 years for the death star to be completed, whereas in return of the jedi its back again???"
I think the empire didn't take 20 years to actually build the death star, but it was just 20 years until we actually saw it completed and in full operational use. I also don't think the second death star was merely made after the first one was destroyed, but it was being built while the first one was still operational. I mean, why have one when you can have two?
About the whole mother thing, I believe that was simply an error that went unnoticed. I mean why the hell would Luke care about an adopted mother he never met? Padme didn't have to die at the end of Episode III but she could have "been" dying from whatever. Here's another question: Why did Sidious say that Vader killed her and why did the droid say that they can't figure why she is dying? If Vader death choked the bitch to death then she would have died while on the planet, but she didn't. So much inconsistancy.
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RE: Digital Effects are unrealistic
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Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 23, 2005 2:15 PM
The 'NOOOOOOOOO' thing was obviously harkening back to Empire Strikes Back where Luke shouts NOOOOOOOOO!!! It was pretty cheesey back then but I don't hear people complaining.
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Post YOUR opinion!
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