Once again, I've raided Netflix's vaults. This time in search of some artsy movies. I really enjoy foreign films. But once in a while I’ll go out on a limb and come back with my head spinning. There are tons of pointy-headed art movies out there, I’m sure everyone’s seen one. Here’s a short list of recent one’s I’ve seen and they remind me why I’ve never tried learning French.

Experiment Volume 1: Foreign Films

Diary of a Country Priest
(1948) Dir. Robert Bresson 95 min. [French with subtitles]
Buy Diary of a Country Priest from Amazon.com!
Rent Diary of a Country Priest from Netflix!

More like Diary of a Boring Priest. The legendary French director Robert Bresson confuses the hell out of everyone and simultaneously putting them to sleep, no wonder he’s a legend, right?

Diary follows a young Provincial priest who needs to learn to play by his town’s rigid set of social rules. The plot vaguely unfolds as he tries to make friends and offends others. Only one person ever comes to his sermons, which he is pretty depressed about it. But if his preaching is as boring as his acting, I can see why.

I’m no fool; I know there are tons of subtle social and religious commentaries throughout. But good God, this movie knows how to drag itself out. I tried finishing it twice and never did. If you know how it ends, don’t waste your time with me. From now on, if there’s not some sort of exorcism on screen, I don’t want to see another holy man in the lead.

The Bicycle Thief
(1948) Dir. Vittorio De Sica 93 min. [Italian with subtitles]
Buy The Bicycle Thief from Amazon.com!
Rent The Bicycle Thief from Netflix!

Life sucks. If it’s not one thing, it’s another. And life sucked way worse in post war Italy. I get it, lay off me.

De Sica’s “Bicycle Thief” is considered a pinnacle of Italian cinema and a giant leap for realism in films. I still start crying every time I pass the spaghetti isle at the grocery store.  

Antonio is unemployed and his family is starving. Luckily, he lands a meaty government job putting up posters. One catch—he needs a bicycle for the job. With Antonio’s in hoc, he stumbles through Rome with his son, Bruno, in search of a new bike. By another stroke of luck he gets his old cycle out of the pawn shop and is ready to roll.

So far so good, huh? Just as his life is looking good, it starts raining shit. His first day on the job the bike is stolen and Antonio runs the risk of losing his job. Again, he and Bruno hit the streets looking for daddy’s two-wheeler. After a couple of close calls with the thief and nearly getting killed by a mob, Antonio is still sans bicycle.

The film ends with Antonio making a huge decision that changes his life for good. Yep, it’s a sad one too. De Sica does a great job of depicting the meat grinder of society, almost to a brutal point. And that damn bicycle could represent about a billion different things, take your pick. This film is a great representation of this era of European cinema, the old “You think your life stinks? Well look at this poor soul.” It’s dry and full of subtleties and you’ll need to watch a Sylvester Stallone comedy afterwards to untie your mind—but it’s art DAMN IT!

Alphaville
(1948) Dir. Jean-Luc Godard
99 min. [French with subtitles]
Buy Alphaville from Amazon.com!
Rent Alphaville from Netflix!

Godard’s “Breathless” is my favorite foreign movie, ever. So I really wanted to get deeper into his catalog. This futuristic detective noir is super-subtle like the others I’ve reviewed, but Godard’s dialogue is so confusing it makes you question your ability to read English.

This film looks a lot like Aldous Huxley’s “Brave New World” felt on paper. Alphaville is the city of the future, but it looks a lot like ‘60s Paris. Pretty funny, actually. The protagonist is some sort of reporter or detective on some sort of secret mission or case…it’s really not very clear.  There is some sort of all powerful person or robot that controls the entire city and this guy is getting to the bottom of it…I think. Oh, and lots of brainwashing. You can’t have a futuristic movie without that, can you?

There are several breaks in the movie where you have to ask yourself, “what the hell are they talking about?” Alphaville is an homage to dark flim noir that Godard loves so much, but it’s wrapped up in a confusing blanket of philosophy and jilted society. I couldn’t finish this movie, either. I was so confused about an hour into it that I turned it off. Hell, this movie could have been about little girls selling lemonade, I really don’t know any more. It’s confusing, trust me.

More NetfliXperiments:

· NetfliXperiments Volume 1: Highway Horror & Hillbilly Fishermen

Rent DVDs from Netflix - 13,000 titles - Free Shipping - No Late Fees!