Wolfgang Peterson's POSEIDON Remake TRAILER Is Lame!

By Wind(up)bird December 13, 2005 8:58 PM

The new remake of The Poseidon Adventure, imaginatively renamed, Poseidon, opens next May. ?This being the mini-season of the summer tease (see also Christmas movie season), here's the teaser to Poseidon. ?It stars a bunch of people who can't really, used to, or will flat out never be able to open a movie on their own.

NEW TRAILERS ONLINE
- New Crop of Mediocre Teasers Online!! NEW HORROR REMAKES, NEW ADAM SANDLER,, and NEW, SHITTY COMEDIES!!

Watch the POSEIDON Teaser...

| comments: 13

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see the original   reply

Posted by sKillBot (travis@pulley.org) on December 15, 2005 5:17 PM

The trailer makes this movie look like a bad titanic ripoff. I saw the original movie on tv a few years back not knowing what it was, and it excited the part of me that loves claustrophobic apocalyptic disaster movies where women get wet (related: deep blue sea with ll cool j in a great support role as a cook, the kinda cook that's not afraid to stab things like steven segal in under siege).

Fantastic Four scene   reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on December 17, 2005 6:25 PM

Ben Grimm: [complaining about Johnny] That underwear model washed out at NASA for bringing two Victoria's Secret wannabes into a flight simulator.
Reed Richards: Youthful high spirits.
Ben Grimm: They crashed it into a wall.

RE: Fantastic Four scene   reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on December 18, 2005 2:42 PM

I hope this is as good as Speed 2, cos if it is... W000000000T!!!!!

Dubb   reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on January 14, 2006 2:56 PM

Well, it can't be worse than that NBC crappy remake with the terroist bombs, can it?

If it's worse than the Adam Baldwin Rutger Hauer fucked up one, I owe dtheatre a coke.

RE: Dubb   reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on March 10, 2006 6:03 PM

Ok, you DO have a point... the idea of a terroist bomb going off on a cruise ship with creepy HOMICIDES was a little fucky, but GUESS WHAT? The point was that the terroists had 2 bombs, and the ship would sink. HOWEVER, the one guy who had the one bomb was found, and the second bomb was blown up...sending the god-christend ship upsidedown...

You do really have to give whoever the hell made up some credit. It WAS clever, but a rouge tidal wave is much more authentic and exciting. (However the terroist plot was a little bit more possible... AND realistic.)

RE: see the original   reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on March 10, 2006 6:11 PM

Yes...but does the titanic get hit by a tidal wave? No, it gets hit by an iceberg... AND IT DOESN'T CAPSIZE FYI! Plus the love and intimacy does look titanicy.

Jack: Oh, Rose, let me touch yo bosoms.
Rose: IDIOT! THIS IS 1912!
Jack: Yeah, but hte movie is shot in 1997!
Rose: That's it, James Cameron, can I get a guy who doesn't glamor under my boobs?
James Cameron: Uh, no.
Rose: Why?
James Cameron: Because we need him for the tidal wave scene where the ship turns upside down.
Jack: Hey, hey, hey! This sounds a lot like the Poseidon Adventure!
James Cameron: Oh! I forgot to tell you. We decided to make a movie about the Poseidon Adventure.
Jack: Damn, I doubt there'll be much nudity or intimacy in this!
James Cameron: Actually there is.
Rose: Just don't make me get nude, ok?
Jack: NO!

RE: Fantastic Four scene   reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on March 10, 2006 6:13 PM

God, this is the poseidon adventur, not some fantastc4 thing!

RE: see the original   reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on March 28, 2006 3:11 PM

What is it your taking?

RE: see the original   reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on March 28, 2006 3:18 PM

Dtheatre is a website about movies, not scripted intamcy plays like u wrote about the titanic thing. And i doubt an old woman will find a trezur hunter looking for a diamond necklace on the north atlantic. THATS titanic. And also i think that whoever wuz stupid enough to make a poseidon movie with a terroist bomb is a ^#*$&@! idiot. I agree with u. Terroist bombs belong in 9/11 movies like this 1 thats coming out, 'United 93'. Halleyluya to whoever decided to make a remake of the tidal wave 1. That way everyone will forget the original 1 and the terroist bomb 1. I'll bet anyone who posts messages on dtheatre that the scene where the ship is hit by the wave will last about 10 minits.

STUPID CRAPPY TERROIST VERSION!

STUPID CRAPPY 1972 VERSION!

RE: see the original   reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on March 29, 2006 9:53 AM

Someone needs to give this guy a Prozac! This guy is angry! And he needs some Xanax.

RE: see the original   reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on March 29, 2006 9:57 AM

Has the wrld gone mad?

RE: see the original   reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on April 14, 2006 8:28 AM

Yep

Creepy Big Trailer   reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on April 26, 2006 1:36 PM

If someone wants to see a complete, full, new-and-improved, non-crappy trailer, go to www.poseidonmovie.com. It has this trailer that actually shows some of the emotional stuff during the capsizing and the escapeing. And also, for those people who saw 'Titanic' and liked the nudity scenes in it, (and the sinking parts), this movie is DEFINETLY for you. Yes, what I mean is that there's golden nudity in it. And some kiddie obviously gets drowned in an exhaust vent or something like that because there's a shot in the trailer that shows the kid's mom assuring him that everythings going to be alright...when water is about up to their necks and gradually rising. How old is this kid? Seven? Six? Not surprised if he's five. How stupid is this mom??? She knows that they're ABOUT TO DIE!!!