Review: Mike Clark's review of Kill Bill 2

By Charley April 30, 2004 3:57 PM

Review: Mike Clark's review of Kill Bill Vol. 2

Mike Clark, writing about Kill Bill Vol. 2 for USATODAY, begins his review with this line:  "Yes, Uma sends new victims to their doom-a."  It almost makes a reader wish the review had begun with a cliche.  And it doesn't get any better when he goes on to rhyme "Thurman" with "vermin" in the very next line.

The lack of structure in this review is its main problem and it leads to the question of What, exactly, is the point?  Clark's attempt to be original raises more questions than are answered.  Indeed, it seems as though he has given up plot in lieu of obscure, in-the-know references in this over-hyped, overblown review.  

Beside basic structure problems, Clark pens impossible scenarios that ask readers to sacrifice their good senses:  "The spirit of Sergio Leone must be bowing its head in pride at 2's transparent homage, or demanding afterlife residuals from Tarantino's accountant."  Willing suspension of disbelief is a necessary agreement between a reviewer and his readers, but to ask the audience to believe that spirits might need money in the afterlife is stretching that agreement beyond its logical limit.

Yes, Clark attempts to inject some originality into his reviewing, like many other reviewers have done before him.  There is a difference however, between originality and freshness.  It is not my place, as a humble being, to say exactly where that distinction lies.  It is clear, however, when that difference occurs in reviews.  Because of the quality of reviewing that is being hyped in today's periodicals, the spirit of Pauline Kael must be pissed--something that spirits are quite capable of, according to several ghost experts.

If you're looking for a lot of obscure references without a lot of substance, go read Mike Clark's review of Kill Bill Vol. 2.  But, if you're like most people and you don't want to sift through the writing of someone who waxes intellectual about Tarantino movies, you may want to skip this review of that blockbuster movie.

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admin capabilities   reply

Posted by Charley (charley@dtheatre.com) on May 1, 2004 1:55 AM

There should be one of those breathalizer things on computers so that drunk people like me can't log on and post weird thngs like reviews of reviews.

I guess I could delete it now, but having people read it and think I'm an idiot is better punishment.

RE: admin capabilities   reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 4, 2004 6:37 AM

Your not an idiot I thought your review of your own review reviewing the review was good well structered and informative.
But please what do you think of my review about your review of your first review of the USATODAY papers review of kill bill 2?

RE: View   reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 4, 2004 7:30 AM

Geez, how can that guy get a job reviewing movies for USATODAY when he can't even construct a simple sentence? His grammer was worse than that kid from New Zealand who keeps rapping on here.

RE: View   reply

Posted by i dont know (direoswald@hotmail.com) on May 4, 2004 9:35 PM

omg, dont u know wat it is? abbreviations! txt messag wrting! modern day teen txt talk! u old man!

eg. u-you, wats up, wazzup, sup, you are-ur
if u cant get that message through ur brain den shut up! at least i got enough guts to rap ! chicken shit,r u da guy dat said- "ur wrecked! did u say u SNUCK into kill bill? and ur callin us poor!"
wen i had to pay for da tickets to sneak into it cuz i waz too young!

EVERYONE! THIS GUY TRIED 2 RAP BY COPY AND PASTING WILL SMITH AND OBIE TRICE SONGS CALLIN DEM HIS OWN!

Rapping 13 year old prick.   reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 5, 2004 5:31 AM

FUCK OFF. I remember you on that fucking Spiderman 2 thread you just wouldn't go away your such a loser go to school or something you dumb fuck you might learn somthing.
Oh and heres a rap for you... yo yo yo your a big fuck you gets abused by his parents and goes out with his sister if he had one as it is you only go out with your brother mother fucker.
Any way kill bill was quality but it got a lot of mixed reviews.

RE: Hey Kid!   reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 5, 2004 8:40 AM

I was only joking, why do you have to take everything so personally?

RE: Rapping 13 year old prick.   reply

Posted by Charley (charley@dtheatre.com) on May 5, 2004 10:58 AM

Way to tie it all back to the topic.  I love posters who, despite their hatred for other posters, still have a conscience about keeping posts on topic.  Nice work.  Oh, and Kill Bill got a lot of really good reviews--including this one.  My gripe wasn't with Mike Clark's opinion, just with his style.  I might just as well have given him a good review.  That's just how it goes when you review reviews.

hahaha   reply

Posted by i dont know (direoswald@hotmail.com) on May 5, 2004 9:29 PM

i dont believe how angry i can get u! wats wrong with a 13 year old kid getting kiks out off pissin off a geek like u?

yo,do u take drugs and see strange things? like u and ur mum in xl g strings?

i do go to school u dumb old geek if start to rap ur ass start to freak and im personally talkin to YOUR fat ass typin on da net just to let out sum gas

Said its too late for haters out there trying to stop me now you never heard, yo i submerged from the underground this time im staying up and i aint never comin down i made it this far and i did it all by myself so think twice, if you think gonna take me out said you dont know me and you dont know what my crews about cause weve been doing this were not losing this and weve been proving were forever staying true to this get with the movement as im not hanging round for long in fact im gone, your too late you better check my song you know this lyrisist individualist MC puriest slash communication specialist even when effortless my skill can still rip a show this is definant so dont act like you didnt know i know you know my rhyme and you flow it line for line but its too late to discipher cause you out of time

I am amazed by you.   reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 6, 2004 2:57 AM

Wow. You are so amazingly cool, I wish I could rap also.

RE: I am amazed by you.   reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 6, 2004 5:43 AM

Enough raping more kill bill.  What do reckon of the ending I couldn't decide whether it was awsome (somthing different than a showdown like in kill bill 1) or whether it was really duff (a bit of an anti climax).

Fuk all u fuks!   reply

Posted by i don t know (direoswald@hotmail.com) on May 6, 2004 9:30 AM

You filthy maggot! I bet you're the kinda guy who'd fuck a person in the ass and not even have the god-damn common courtesy to give him a reach around!

thats right   reply

Posted by i dont know (direoswald@hotmail.com) on May 6, 2004 9:26 PM

"FUCK OFF. I remember you on that fucking Spiderman 2 thread you just wouldn't go away your such a loser go to school or something you dumb fuck you might learn somthing.
Oh and heres a rap for you... yo yo yo your a big fuck you gets abused by his parents and goes out with his sister if he had one as it is you only go out with your brother mother fucker."

if you didnt realise it, thats YOUR post a few days ago. see wat happens when a geek like you stops copy and pasting will smith and obie trice songs and trys to make one up himself?

anyway, i thought the ending of kill bill was pretty good, at the end how bill tells her how the brides daughter is still alive and all that,has anyone seen kill bill vol 2? its supposed to copme out next week.

RE: thats right   reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 7, 2004 8:18 AM

Yeah I have seen Kill bill 2 its quality but like I said I couldn't decide whether I really liked the ending of it or not.  theres a great character in it called Pai Mei he is the don.

RE: thats right   reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 7, 2004 8:22 AM

Please tell me what you are talking about I think you are mixing several people up.
Use coherent sentences. I can handle abbreviations but not sentenances that don't make sense.

!!!   reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 7, 2004 1:12 PM

yah!!

dont know   reply

Posted by i dont know (direoswald@hotmail.com) on May 8, 2004 7:04 PM

hes talkin about a character in kill bill vol 2.

RE: dont know   reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 9, 2004 3:19 AM

No when I said you were mixing two people up I was talking to you the New Zealand guy but just forget it ok.
You liked the two kill bills right.  The pace of the two films was unusual. The first one was really in your face and fast and then the second one slowed down It was quite refreshing to do it that way or maybe it wasn't intended like that...

RE: dont know   reply

Posted by i dont know (direoswald@hotmail.com) on May 9, 2004 9:05 PM

so has the kill bill vol 2 got any good action? or is it all just talking?

sorry   reply

Posted by i dont know (direoswald@hotmail.com) on May 9, 2004 9:43 PM

srry, but this iz totally off the subject, i heard that the movie TROY was going to be rated R.
is that r13? r18?

ps:kill bill vol one waz da bomb

RE: dont know   reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 10, 2004 5:58 AM

Kill bill is certainitly not all talking I may have said the pace was different but thats compared to the huge battle the Bride has with the crazy 88.  The battle The Bride has in kill Bill 2 with Elle Driver is absoulte qualers it's one of the best one on one fights I've seen in ages its alot better than the Bride vs Oren Ishi (not counting the Crazy 88).
Plus there is the brides training! and finally the showdown with bill.  Any way there is a a lot more talking but its all good stuff.

RE: Vol.2   reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 10, 2004 8:20 AM

I have to say that I enjoyed Vol.1 alot more than Vol.2 which is pretty dumb because essentially they're just one movie that was cut in half. The crazy 88 fight was meant to be like the big set piece of a 3 hour epic but ended up being the climax of Vol.1 and therefore the second film feels weaker by comparison. Plus I thought it would have been cool if you'd actually SEEN the heart explode.

RE: Vol.2   reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 10, 2004 7:16 PM

Yeah I was expecting Uma to get showered in blood.  Ok you get you get five steps then you die right.. which bill got however wasn't he talking for a bit before he walked away so i'm sure if had gone for it he could have got at least 10 steps.  Ah well maybe next time less talking more walking.

RE: Kill Bill 2   reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 11, 2004 8:03 AM

I don't think it was meant to be that you're heart explodes in the time it takes to walk five steps just after you take five steps. He could have probably sat their the rest of his life but he accepted that she'd beaten him and it was time for him to die.

RE: Kill Bill 2   reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 11, 2004 8:10 AM

Fair enough but why didn't he just shoot her.  Mind you that would have defeated the point of the ttle of the film so I've answered my own question making this post pointless.
What do you think of Tarintino's idea for another film with the Bride.  A revenge cycle like this could go on for years.  Its playing out like a Greek Tradegy.

RE: Kill Bill 2   reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 12, 2004 7:37 AM

I think he's making his World War II epic next.

RE: Kill Bill 2   reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 13, 2004 9:16 AM

Yes I know Inglorious Bastards but he's also thinking about doing a third film featuring the bride.  Rumour has it he is planning to film a couple of scenes with Sophie Fattale and Vivian Fox's child now.  So he can have a couple of flash back scenes for later.

flunks and drunks   reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 13, 2004 1:07 PM

I don't really know what website the dickheads who have run this thread so far think they are visiting but it is supposed to be for reviews of movies (and apparently reviews of reviews of movies).   Take your elementary bullshit "rapping" (as you seem to fool yourselves into thinking it is) and go...well, go work on it for about another one hundred years and maybe, just maybe you might have a legitimate chance at penning a hit.  
Charley- maybe you should have a breathalizer on your computer.  It would serve you well in not repeating the very point you criticize.  Your review is neither original or fresh, simply because you repeat the referencce to spirits in an attempt at clever irony.  Has it been proven that spirits are, in fact, capable of being pissed off anymore than it has been proven that spirits don't need money, wherever they may be?  That I am expected to disregard Clarke's reivew because of something that you recreate in your review, disqualifies you as a credible opinion. In regards to the differences of originality and freshness...don't bring it up as a point of contention, if you aren't willing to draw the line to distinguish them.  Just because you use a disclaimer, by refering to yourself as a "humble being", does not let you off the hook.  For many that line is not obvious or apparent. Especially when they are drunk and sitting in front of their monitors, it seems.
:) late-
p.s. you "rappers" (i feel guilty to hip hop calling you that) really do suck, it almost hurts me to read that shit you typed...you ain't nobody's Eminem, Tupac, or Jay-Z.  get off here and back to your jessica simpson sites.

Re Whats the point?   reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 13, 2004 4:15 PM

Whats the point of that rant frankly it wasn't even entertaining abuse (you should have refered to peoples mothers more or there weight).
And now all were going to get is more rapping from the NZ guy in an attempt to justify himself.  None of us care about rapping one way or another we wnat to talk about films....
So an appeal to the NZ guy please not another 2 page rap not everyone hates you enough to endure that.

RE: Kill Bill 2   reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 17, 2004 8:51 AM

Just to reiterate, The NZ kid is a fag and his mom is a fat hoe.

RE: Kill Bill 2   reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on May 24, 2004 5:49 AM

Your funny.

RE: Kill Bill 2   reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on November 28, 2004 8:56 AM

Taslkijg about the NZ kid he is  a peodophile, he pretends to be 15 but is actually 23. He admited to this while also getting people to go on a web cam with him what a freak