JESUS Beats Shit Out of Starsky and Hutch

By Wind(up)bird March 7, 2004 8:30 AM

No. 1: The Passion of the Christ (Newmarket, R)
? Gross: $51.3 million (-39%)
? Weeks opened: 2
? Theaters: 3,170 ( 127)
? Per-theater average: $16,212
? Cume to date: $212 million

No. 2: Starsky & Hutch (Warner Bros., PG-13)
? Gross: $29 million
? Weeks opened: NEW!
? Theaters: 3,185
? Per-theater average: $9,121

No. 3: Hidalgo (Buena Vista, PG-13)
? Gross: $19.6 million
? Weeks opened: NEW!
? Theaters: 3,063
? Per-theater average: $6,399

No. 4: 50 First Dates (20th Century Fox, PG-13)
? Gross: $7.7 million (-39%)
? Weeks opened: 4
? Theaters: 3,040 (-410)
? Per-theater average: $2,533
? Cume to date: $99.4 million

No. 5: Twisted (Paramount Pictures, R)
? Gross: $5 million (-44%)
? Weeks opened: 2
? Theaters: 2,704 ( 1)
? Per-theater average: $1,858
? Cume to date: $16.3 million

No. 6: Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (Buena Vista, PG)
? Gross: $4 million (-37%)
? Weeks opened: 3
? Theaters: 2,180 (-323)
? Per-theater average: $1,835
? Cume to date: $21.8 million

No. 7: The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (New Line Cinema, PG-13)
? Gross: $3.1 million ( 46%)
? Weeks opened: 11
? Theaters: 1,903 ( 791)
? Per-theater average: $1,668
? Cume to date: $368.3 million

No. 8: Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights (Lions Gate, PG-13)
? Gross: $2.8 million (-51%)
? Weeks opened: 2
? Theaters: 2,042 (unchanged)
? Per-theater average: $1,396
? Cume to date: $10 million

No. 9: Miracle (Buena Vista, PG)
? Gross: $2.6 million (-42%)
? Weeks opened: 5
? Theaters: 1,654 (-568 theaters)
? Per-theater average: $1,572
? Cume to date: $59.9 million

No. 10: Monster (Newmarket, R)
? Gross: $2.2 million ( 12%)
? Weeks opened: 13
? Theaters: 1,082 ( 114)
? Per-theater average: $2,080
? Cume to date: $30 million

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| comments: 31

Reader Discussions:

Post YOUR opinion too!

JESUS RULES HALLELUAH!!! reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on March 9, 2004 8:03 AM

JESUS RULES THE BOX OFFICE.

COOL! reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on March 11, 2004 3:29 AM

I can't wait for the sequel, MESSIAH II: RETRIBUTION DAY

World's most famous hemophiliac? reply

Posted by Skullfire (hulacete@ubbi.com) on March 15, 2004 6:12 AM

I'm not a religious person, but really, a little more respect for the guy. I bet if you die in a wooden cross you won't have zillions of fans after your death.

Oh yea? reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on March 15, 2004 7:01 AM

We'll see about that...

jesus reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on March 15, 2004 10:04 AM

i dont belive in the guy

yea! reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on March 16, 2004 10:39 AM

Yea, I mean if he really did have all those super powers then why would he have even let them nail him to a big cross?

RE: yea! reply

Posted by Skullfire (hulacete@ubbi.com) on March 18, 2004 9:18 AM

Nails were made of kryptonite.

RE: jesus reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on March 22, 2004 5:08 PM

Do you know what God did for you. You know he loves you he cares and every time you sin he still fills the pain.
You need to think about how much pain you cause him and it wasn't just the jews who crusified
him it was all of us, cause he died for our sins, Our sins, mine and your. he loves you and me more than we could ever imagen. So I hope you think about that the next time you say something like that.

RE: yea! reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on March 22, 2004 5:15 PM

Hey, the reason he didn't use his powers is because he knew that it had to be done, he knew someone had to die.
And he loves you too. Yes this is the same Jesus lover that answered to the other person before you. I love my God he is so good and I hate when people talk bad about him.

Im a Jesus Lover reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on March 22, 2004 5:51 PM

Hey,This is the person who has been replying to you people and you need to think of what Jesus did for you he died and every time you sin he feels the beating that he felt when he was crusified and that should make you wanna change cause the time is comming soon when Jesus is comming back to take away the christians and if your not ready youll be left here to think about how you should have changed and I may not know you but i still dont want you to die and go to hell but i want you to go to heven so we can see each other and talk to Jesus well if you wanna talk just reply

Im a Jesus Lover reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on March 22, 2004 5:54 PM

its me agian sorry for being harsh but i dont wanna see people in hell when i could have been the one to witness to them and im gonna eat so bye

RE: reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on March 23, 2004 6:23 AM

Dude, you beliveing in God and Jesus dieing for our sins and all that is fine, whatever helps you get through the day but at least have the decency to respect the fact that not everyone shares your beliefs.

gggg reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on March 23, 2004 3:07 PM

jjjjj

RE: RE: reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on March 23, 2004 3:12 PM

Man, Im a GIRL for one thing and Im sorry for "jumping down your throat" so to speak. but why dont you believe in Jesus or God?
And I am truly sorry for the rudeness!!!
hey lets meet march 24, 2004 at 5:30 ok thats if your not on now

Jesus Christ Soulja reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on March 23, 2004 3:20 PM

Hey! Waz^? whats goin on today? I know that everyone has a right to state thier own opion, But dude can i ask you a question? Why dont you believe in God? Well dude ill talk to ya latta.
from:
A Jesus Christ soulja

J.C.S. reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on March 23, 2004 3:26 PM

Me agian man is it me or was that girl harsh...? she should respect your opion. hey i gotta go homework is callin.
from:
Jesus Christ Soulja
p.o.
e u
a t
c
e

J.C.S. reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on March 23, 2004 3:34 PM

Me again dude the girl has a point but you do to so maybe you two need to talk and work it out before there is a fight cause i love peace man.

P.O. J.C.S.

Help reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on March 23, 2004 3:43 PM

HI! IM NEEDING HELP WHAT DO YOU DO IF YOUR BEST FRIEND IS GOING OUT WITH ONE OF THE BOYS YOU REALY REALY REALY REALY REALY REALY YOU GET THE PICTURE RIGHT AND I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO HE IS LIKE SO HOTT BUT THIER GOING OUT BUT HE KEEPS GIVING ME THESE LOOKS LIKE HE LIKES ME OR SOMETHING WHAT DO I DO.
SIGN:
CONFUSED

RE: reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on March 24, 2004 7:09 AM

Why don't you just ask him if he fancies you?

RE: RE:HELP reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on March 24, 2004 1:33 PM

I THINK I HAVE IT, I REALIZED TODAY HE JUST FLIRTS TO BE FLIRTING AND I DONT WANT TO MESS WITH THE RELATIONSHIP THEY HAVE BECAUSE I DONT WANT HER MAD AT ME BUT THANKS FOR YOUR ADVISE

RE: RE:HELP reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on March 24, 2004 1:35 PM

I THINK I HAVE IT, I REALIZED TODAY HE JUST FLIRTS TO BE FLIRTING AND I DONT WANT TO MESS WITH THE RELATIONSHIP THEY HAVE BECAUSE I DONT WANT HER MAD AT ME BUT THANKS FOR YOUR ADVISE.
SIGN:
HAPPY GIRL

SCHOOL reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on March 24, 2004 1:39 PM

do any of you people like school? if you Dont
type back

good goly reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on March 24, 2004 2:04 PM

have you relized how many people love to talk

The Passion of the What? reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on March 25, 2004 12:06 PM

I don't think one should ask a negative question - rather ask why any of you DO believe in this guy. There are many other religions and non-religion in the world. What makes you so sure yours is the right way, other than your parents told you so?

RE: The Passion of the What? J.C.S. reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on March 25, 2004 3:50 PM

ok how I know is I can
feel it in my heart and in my soul and you need
to try it before you dis it ok man.

RE: The Passion of the What? reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on March 25, 2004 3:56 PM

dude I know why I believe but do you know why you dont?

RE: ligion reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on March 30, 2004 11:57 AM

I made up my own religon and when I die I'm going to spend eternity on a tropical island with hundreds of bikini models.

Starsky kicks wind(up)bird's ass! reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on April 6, 2004 8:08 PM

Screw you, asshole!