Will Smith Talks About Being in The Matrix

By A random shemp July 3, 2002 10:30 AM

Editor: The following story or article was submitted by one of our readers and may not necessarily reflect the Dtheatre.com crew's opinion. We hold no responsibility for inaccuracies or hoaxes.

While doing a press junket for Men In Black II, Will Smith had this to say about The Matrix, a movie whose sequels Smith's wife, Jada, will co-star in next year.

"I was one of the actors originally offered the role of Neo, and I was like, 'Yeah right, The Matrix. Computers have taken over the world. I think I'd better go off and do that good film Wild Wild West.'"

Everyone, please, a round of applause and a hearty Dtheatre welcome to the latest graduate of Dumb Career Move 101.

| comments: 40

Reader Discussions:

Post YOUR opinion too!

Funny Sh*t!   reply

Posted by Jack (jack@dtheatre.com) on July 3, 2002 10:33 AM

Choice: Will Smith vs. Keanu Reeves for tech/sci-fi/action/fantasy film.

Bleh, what options. Keanu was a better choice though.

Triva of the Day: Ewan McGregor was also offered, but turned down, the part of Neo. Val Kilmer was at one time attached to play Morpheus.

Master of the obvious   reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on July 3, 2002 10:43 AM

I think it's pretty obvious that he realizes it was not the best move but he continues to have one of the most successful careers in Hollywood today. One mistake ain't no thing.

RE: Master of the obvious   reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on July 3, 2002 12:23 PM

Nice graphic, Jack!  Took you all morning, eh. That makes it even more hillarious.  

One mistake?  Making those rap albums after becoming a successful actor is the biggest mistake.

RE: Master of the obvious   reply

Posted by The Original Shemp (Daddy-O@shempsrule.com) on July 3, 2002 1:51 PM

I agree...kudos on the pic Jack.

So RS, I assume you don't get jiggy wit it? Come on, he's an entertainment machine!

RE: Master of the obvious   reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on July 3, 2002 2:12 PM

"Will Smith says he don't have to curse in his albums to sell records. Well, I do.  So f*ck him and f*ck you too."---Eminem

Need I say more.

RE: Master of the obvious   reply

Posted by The Original Shemp (Daddy-O@shempsrule.com) on July 3, 2002 2:17 PM

I got $10 that says you will, no matter how nicely we ask.

RE: Master of the obvious   reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on July 3, 2002 3:12 PM

And I've got $10 that says you won't inject anything interesting ever in any of your posts.

You want to just call it a push instead?

RE: Master of the obvious   reply

Posted by Jack (jack@dtheatre.com) on July 3, 2002 4:39 PM

Yeah, I had a blast making that.. but it wasn't very difficult because there was a MIB promo pic where he's almost in the same lighting and he's wearing stylish sunglasses.

RE: Master of the obvious   reply

Posted by The Original Shemp (Daddy-O@shempsrule.com) on July 3, 2002 7:01 PM

Oh yes, master of the uncredited IMDB posts and keeper of the diary of Skullfire's rectal needs. I'm sure you will continue to fascinate us with your hopelessly repetative barbs (Are you rethinking them all or do you cut and paste from a master list?) while masking your true love for Skully.

RE: Master of the obvious   reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on July 4, 2002 11:23 AM

Oh, is he the jerkoff who submitted trivia to the IMDB for THE HUNTED that was completely wrong?  The Morrison bridge?  Come on.  4 months?  Get it right.

RE: Master of the obvious   reply

Posted by The Original Shemp (Daddy-O@shempsrule.com) on July 4, 2002 11:49 AM

Myb, bt  ws rfrrng t th Tckr vs Rck pst tht ws tkn frm IMDB ncrdtd.

RE: Master of the obvious   reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on July 5, 2002 9:15 AM

Repetition is the watchword around here.  It actually makes you all respond and post.  And if it makes a hack like you, OS join in the conversation---no matter how lame your responses are--- then I've managed to bring back some of the former glory this hole must have had once.

As for crediting these sh*t stories.  Whine to Jack, as your are incredibly prone to whining; he knows I've cited the work.  The last one is from the Chicago Sun Times, not IMDB, dumbass.  Pay attention numbnuts.  You too mooser the shemp poster.

Or do I need to repeat myself for your tiny brain to understand...again?

RE: Master of the obvious   reply

Posted by The Original Shemp (Daddy-O@shempsrule.com) on July 5, 2002 9:57 AM

You want to bring back glory to DTheatre than I suggest you start talking about movies rather than being a d!ck. I'm sure that there must be an "I'm_a_dick.com" site that you subscribe to...go bother those people. The repetition is clearly your tradition slapnuts, I swear you've had about 10 original things to say the whole time you've been on here. It was just getting too boring to read anymore so I thought I'd spice it up a bit.

Speaking of paying attention, the Tucker/Rock story is from IMDB...you even said it yourself in a post. I don't know or care where you ripped this one from, my point was that you should credit the source. You wanna impress me, bring us a scoop.

RE: Master of the obvious   reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on July 5, 2002 1:07 PM

And again OS, you sh*t-for-brains, don't whine to me about crediting the articles.  I did and Jack chose whether or not to state that, not me.

It's his site, remember stupid? By the way what articles have you contributed?  "None," you say.  Then shut the f*ck up, jackass!

I don't truly give a sh*t either if DT gets any of it's glory back.  If it ever had any.  I'm here having a blast twisting your tittes and your bitching serves me quite well in the amusement department.

Please send it up again chuckles. Your as boring in real life as you are here aren't you?

RE: Master of the obvious   reply

Posted by The Original Shemp (Daddy-O@shempsrule.com) on July 5, 2002 2:17 PM

I guess I just haven't found anything worth cutting and pasting.

I'm not the one bitching and yelling at everyone, you clearly have the anger issues junior.
I'm guessing it's related to the fact that you've never talked to a woman without reading her your credit card number first.

RE: Master of the obvious   reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on July 5, 2002 2:21 PM

Who needs a credit card when you'd rather pimp out your baby sister for a nickel, OS.

Cut & paste something I wrote then if you can't do any better than that.

RE: Master of the obvious   reply

Posted by The Original Shemp (Daddy-O@shempsrule.com) on July 5, 2002 9:26 PM

As soon as you post something interesting, I'll be happy to cut and paste it.

And "my baby sister"??? I thought you agrred to keep your fantasies limited to Skully. Get some help Junior...

RE: Master of the obvious   reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on July 8, 2002 9:41 AM

Sure, sure, senior.  No rest for the wicked, eh?

Stick to topic if you can't handle me dishing it out then.

RE: Master of the obvious   reply

Posted by The Original Shemp (Daddy-O@shempsrule.com) on July 8, 2002 10:36 AM

Don't stop on my account Junior...you keep right on setting them up for me to spike down your throat.

And for the record, I'd prefer to stay on topic...hell, we may even get a few more people posting that way.

RE: Master of the obvious   reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on July 8, 2002 11:01 AM

The only thing your "spiking" is your office water cooler...and wasting valuable company resources on the Internet. Boss must be damn proud.  Damn proud, I say!!!

Keep up the good work!

RE: Master of the obvious   reply

Posted by The Original Shemp (Daddy-O@shempsrule.com) on July 8, 2002 5:32 PM

I beat you down on my own time Junior. I wouldn't waste company time on the internet and especially not on you.

And by the way...I am the boss.

RE: Master of the obvious   reply

Posted by The Original Shemp (Daddy-O@shempsrule.com) on July 8, 2002 5:34 PM

And what's your story?
Judging by the times of your posts, you are boring us all while you are at work.
I assume that this is actually the best way you can contribute to the firm...by not doing any work.

RE: Master of the obvious   reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on July 9, 2002 10:26 AM

Actually my job involves hacking security to test corporations and this place just became a test project for an Apache server zero day rundown I was working on.  What a great place to be a prick to everyone and YOU all responded.  Thanks for the support chuckles.

You're the "boss"?   What do you sell?  It must involve Stupid Pills because you're not just the president you're a client as well.

RE: Master of the obvious   reply

Posted by The Original Shemp (Daddy-O@shempsrule.com) on July 9, 2002 10:47 AM

Now that sounds like a decent gig...what's with the anger issues? Are you supposed to be a dick or is it just a hobby?

My job involves bitch-slappping people that are being a$$holes on otherwise decent sites...you are our number one customer, Junior.

RE: Master of the obvious   reply

Posted by Moose (moose@dtheatre.com) on July 9, 2002 11:22 AM

Oooops! Seems like we've been slapping someone under 15 around, OS. (Is this legal?). My question is this........

You said that Union Jackie was your master. Is his real name R Kelly, or is he a priest?

RE: Master of the obvious   reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on July 9, 2002 1:03 PM

It's great work if you can get it, OS.  Thanks for noticing.  Being a dick is a hobby, you are the only one being paid for it so that would make you the professional here.

I guess your job also involves you being a professional dick to all of your underlings--you are fooling yourself if you think your authority extends this far though.  Much like those slipping sales number from last quarter are "just a fluke."

Although by the looks of it, mooser is taking dump on you too.  Pretty low of him so that must really sting.

Mooser, you would know all about underage children wouldn't you.  I'm thinikng you better clear your cache before the cops show up.  Sick f*cker that you are.

RE: Master of the obvious   reply

Posted by Moose (moose@dtheatre.com) on July 9, 2002 2:15 PM

Oh, I forgot for a moment that you were stoopid shemp.

Ok, I will explain it for you junior.

I was talking to you.
UJ is your master.
You are his bitch.
You do not seem to be older than 15.
You are a moron.
You have been dismissed.

RE: Master of the obvious   reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on July 9, 2002 3:05 PM

You actually have to have "mad skillz" or at least some heft to your words to put a dismissal in order, mooser.

You have neither.

Keep trying though, your inadequacies make me pleasantly amused.

RE: Master of the obvious   reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on July 9, 2002 3:26 PM

And what with this "I forgot" sh*t.  Seems that this is your battle cry for everything you get your ass stuck into.  Right now your up to your chin in it.  The only thing that keeps you from drowning is that incredible appetite you have.  I'll keep shoveling you keep eating, deal?

RE: Master of the obvious   reply

Posted by Moose (moose@dtheatre.com) on July 10, 2002 3:28 AM

No, the sh*t you mention is what you got when you had you lips firmly stuck on OS's ass.

RE: Master of the obvious   reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on July 10, 2002 1:16 PM

Well, I just don't see it that way, mooser.  

What it shows is that I approve of something that I didn't post that was funny.  You have yet to hit the mark.

Although your ass-kissing and unoriginality is an amazing accomplishment unto itself.  So you can at least be proud of your pussy-ass ways.

Getting tougher to sneak that tubby butt out of shop class isn't it?  Maybe you should spend some time in English 101 or get a spellchecker.

Shemp won't sink ever thanks to his airhead   reply

Posted by Skullfire (hulacete@ubbi.com) on July 11, 2002 10:25 AM

Moose probably will answer "and you get a brainchecker" not because he's predictable, but cause you're an obvious a--hole.

RE: Master of the obvious   reply

Posted by Moose (moose@dtheatre.com) on July 11, 2002 12:47 PM

You really are lame.
You have sold out already!
You are OS's bitch.
You crashed and burned!
Everything you say from now on is blah blah blah!
The only reason you don't lick my ass too is because you are a slut and I will not let you. (But, for the sake of my amusement, if your master OS agrees, you may continue  posting. Bitch).

RE: Master of the obvious   reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on July 11, 2002 4:04 PM

At least I'm not into changing other people's posts when my ass gets smacked, pussy.

As for OS, you and I both know its was a compliment on an interesting point.  You're such a f*cking looser you don't even know what either one is.

Ha ha, the only owning done around here is by me.  You played right into my hands even when I gave you a way to rise above it, mooser.  Welcome to the dark side, cumeater.

Darth Shemp   reply

Posted by Skullfire (hulacete@ubbi.com) on July 11, 2002 9:20 PM

Star Wars is messing with your head.

"...now the circle is complete. But this time, I am the master..."

OK, I'll play with you (too, like everyone here did): "Only the master of evil, Vader"

Lame   reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on July 18, 2002 12:51 PM

Glad to see things havent changed at Dtheatre.  Never short of old and new butt-plug geeks who cant stop trying to top one another in a pathetic attempt to prove to themselves that they really are somebody cool and important, with an opinion no less.  If you guys are really sure that you "OWN" one another in the verbal abuse department, just get together face to face and f*ck each other or even better beat the sh*t out of each other for everybodys sake.  All your talk on the internet doesnt prove anything except that you guys are really deprived or bored or both.  
Now I remember why I havent been here in so long.  Goodbye dipsh1ts, try going outside for a little while, otherwise fork out some money, go to a whore house and lose your virginity, then you might see the bigger picture.  
Now go ahead and bitch about this all you want.

RE: Lame   reply

Posted by Skullfire (hulacete@ubbi.com) on July 18, 2002 1:51 PM

Thanks for sharing your raging hormones with us.

RE: Lame   reply

Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on July 19, 2002 4:16 AM

Shut up Skullfire, yuo are just as bad all tehse idiots.  Stick to teh topic if yuo want respect.

RE: Lame   reply

Posted by Skullfire (hulacete@ubbi.com) on July 19, 2002 12:39 PM

Who said I want respect from yuo?

SUBJECT   reply

Posted by Beth (BETHANABBS@HOTMAIL.COM) on September 18, 2004 2:23 AM

Can we stick 2 the subect. IE Will Smith?