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By Jack August 7, 2001 12:03 AM
(Variety) - Fast as lightning, DreamWorks is negotiating to pick up the high-concept comedy "Kung Fu Theater."
A parody of the martial arts genre, "Kung Fu Theater." follows a comic book artist who, parked in front of his TV, finds himself magically transported into a martial arts film -- one in which he recognizes all of the storylines and characters from his favorite Saturday afternoon chopsocky pleasures.
Music video veteran Nick Quested (Puff Daddy, Nas, Dr. Dre) will make his feature directing on the project. DreamWorks is understood to be aiming for a late November start.
The project would mark one of the first buys under Michael De Luca, recently installed as DreamWorks' production president after he was ousted from New Line Cinema. The project was initially developed at Paramount Pictures-based Mandalay Pictures.
| comments: 51
RE: DreamWorks Jumping Kung Fu Bandwagon 
reply
Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on August 7, 2001 5:49 AM
move along...There is nothing worth discussing here...move along please
RE: DreamWorks Jumping Kung Fu Bandwagon reply
Posted by FredHater (fred_hater@hotmail.com) on August 7, 2001 7:07 AM
I can already see it ... 2 billion furious Chinese.
RE: DreamWorks Jumping Kung Fu Bandwagon reply
Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on August 7, 2001 10:50 AM
And your Point is?
RE: DreamWorks Jumping Kung Fu Bandwagon reply
Posted by FredHater (fred_hater@hotmail.com) on August 7, 2001 12:04 PM
If you need a point you can start with the one on the top of your head shemp.
RE: DreamWorks Jumping Kung Fu Bandwagon reply
Posted by AXEMAN (bigturnerfish@hotmail.com) on August 7, 2001 12:24 PM
Fred, really, must you stoop to making these meaningless little comments. I have faith in your ability to write interesting witty remarks. Let's have more comments like "Handbag dipped in Clam juice" Classic.
You'll only make yourself look like a jackass otherwise.
RE: DreamWorks Jumping Kung Fu Bandwagon reply
Posted by I_was_the_walkingdead (robertdowneyjr@jail.com) on August 8, 2001 6:56 AM
just great, the slantyeyed mo-fo's will start kung fu fighting, again! This is just great.
RE: DreamWorks Jumping Kung Fu Bandwagon reply
Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on August 8, 2001 1:40 PM
Your right, I do have a point on my head. I'm a loser.
RE: DreamWorks Jumping Kung Fu Bandwagon reply
Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on August 9, 2001 5:54 AM
Tiny vanishes and this Walking Putz is back. What a shocker.
RE: DreamWorks Jumping Kung Fu Bandwagon reply
Posted by FredHater (fred_hater@hotmail.com) on August 10, 2001 7:17 AM
aaah, thanks for the critique...some toolbag deleted what I really wanted to say.
RE: DreamWorks Jumping Kung Fu Bandwagon reply
Posted by FredHater (fred_hater@hotmail.com) on August 10, 2001 7:18 AM
I hope some slanty-eyed-mo-fo kept you out of your college of choice and proceeded to jump kick you in the head.
RE: DreamWorks Jumping Kung Fu Bandwagon reply
Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on August 10, 2001 4:18 PM
I agree with the Axe on this one, Fred. Somedays you're dead on sarcastic with a flair of non-p.c. that would make Bill Mahr blush and other days--well, y'know--you're back to polishing your knob. Let's see which one we get now in response to this thread.
RE: DreamWorks Jumping Kung Fu Bandwagon reply
Posted by FredHater (fred_hater@hotmail.com) on August 13, 2001 6:52 AM
Well my friends, my original point was that cultural genre parody is usually a good way to piss off the groups that are being parodied (Dogma, Big Trouble in Little China, In Living Color)
Noting the pointy heads of moronic shemps like yourself is just a sideline.
RE: DreamWorks Jumping Kung Fu Bandwagon reply
Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on August 13, 2001 8:46 AM
Thanks for proving me right Fred. You ARE a knob polisher with the occasional insightful comment. Anyone can say sh*t to say it for a reaction. AND you are our beeotch! Keep up the good (and PREDICTABLE) work!!!
RE: DreamWorks Jumping Kung Fu Bandwagon reply
Posted by FredHater (fred_hater@hotmail.com) on August 13, 2001 11:42 AM
beeotch? what are you 15 and ridiculously white?
are you obsessed with knob polishing?
you are a shemp, the amoeba of the dtheatre hierarchy, learn your place or figure out how to register.
RE: DreamWorks Jumping Kung Fu Bandwagon reply
Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on August 13, 2001 1:15 PM
Is that your type, fred?, 15 year old, white males. I thought so. Besides I'm more of a bacteria kind of shemp. I'll grow on you and send your shee-hite packing. As for registering? Why? Is it so you can make more anonymous "bigtunerfish" type jokes, you handbag dipped in clam juice. Seeya in another thread...genius.
RE: DreamWorks Jumping Kung Fu Bandwagon reply
Posted by FredHater (fred_hater@hotmail.com) on August 13, 2001 1:26 PM
No shemp because everything you a say has been heard before.
Every day some loudmouth punk ass like you does his two weeks and tells everyone they are gay or/and stupid and then give the same tired rebuttals.
If you registered we could keep track of your lameness and just ignore you.
If you like sh*t packing you need to go to a different site.
RE: DreamWorks Jumping Kung Fu Bandwagon reply
Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on August 13, 2001 1:46 PM
I own you Freddy, and its driving you crazy. Your mine.
RE: DreamWorks Jumping Kung Fu Bandwagon reply
Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on August 13, 2001 1:54 PM
Any recomendations for sh*t packing sites, fred? You can't seem to handle the rebuttals, whether or not they are random. Give this some thought the next time you want to start shooting off some rhetoric. Make a legitimate contribution AND then side bar with something non-sensical. My feeling is that you are a lonely little guy with his johnson constantly tied on-line, getting his kicks on people attempting to make some noteworthy thread contibutions, right? And when they don't match your chronic sense of stupidity--well LOOK OUT, HERE COMES THE HATER! Go ahead and starting whining if I'm right. If I'm wrong, I'll apologize, if not......well....post those site recomendations regardless.
RE: DreamWorks Jumping Kung Fu Bandwagon reply
Posted by FredHater (fred_hater@hotmail.com) on August 13, 2001 2:22 PM
Listen dipsh*t, I made a legitimate point, cultural parodies get people in a tizzy.
This movie will without a doubt be full of potentially offensive cultural stereotypes now if they can pull it off (i doubt it because Mel Brooks is involved and political correctness has run rampant in this country) bravo, but I think this movie is going to be an offensive piece of sh*t.
You obviously have not been reading the "rebuttals" or you would realize that they are completely pointless and intended to generate ire. I comply, of course, because I love a good flame war.
I won't bother giving you a personal description because its all bullsh*t unless you meet me for real and I have no desire to do so. If you want to think something of me feel free, I don't care.
For the record, I have no problem with homosexuals, but I do believe that people of races, creeds etc need to lighten up because the human race is a minute sh*t stain in the big picture of the universe.
RE: DreamWorks Jumping Kung Fu Bandwagon reply
Posted by FredHater (fred_hater@hotmail.com) on August 13, 2001 2:24 PM
I mean't to say Mel Brooks is NOT involved.
RE: DreamWorks Jumping Kung Fu Bandwagon reply
Posted by FredHater (fred_hater@hotmail.com) on August 13, 2001 2:27 PM
I better hand over the deed to my balls because you're right.
RE: DreamWorks Jumping Kung Fu Bandwagon reply
Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on August 13, 2001 2:58 PM
"Cultural parodies get people in a tizzy." No kidding. Mensa must be proud to have you as a member.
Fred, you completely disarm me with your ignorance. If you are willing to look past stereotypes and allow for accomodations, then why are you will to qualify this movie project as a "piece of sh*t" without having even seen it. So what of your "Flame wars," I'm asking you to qualify your statements and please for all of our sakes don't get anymore personal than you already have. Trust me when I tell you--and I am speaking for everyone here--it is us who don't care about you. Exceptions: when you whine. Like your doing right now.
P.S. "I do not have anything against Homosexuals" is a battle cry of the underground bigot. Of course you've got a problem or you wouldn't single out that particular group. Just think about it. Ciao, lover.
RE: DreamWorks Jumping Kung Fu Bandwagon reply
Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on August 13, 2001 2:59 PM
Duh! I know what your trying to say even if you don't.
RE: DreamWorks Jumping Kung Fu Bandwagon reply
Posted by FredHater (fred_hater@hotmail.com) on August 13, 2001 3:05 PM
Doh!
RE: DreamWorks Jumping Kung Fu Bandwagon reply
Posted by FredHater (fred_hater@hotmail.com) on August 13, 2001 3:19 PM
This movie is going to be directed by someone with a background in MUSIC VIDEOS...otherwise known as fluff.
He is going to attempt to do cultural parody...a task that requires a deft touch, which I doubt he has.
f*ck off with the bigotry claim, regular dtheatre posters know that I have on many occassions defended homosexuals.
Once again I could give a sh*t what you think about me you sorry shemp piece of crap. If you registered I could call you by your self given name and know that i'm not in a flame war with 10 different random a--holes.
RE: DreamWorks Jumping Kung Fu Bandwagon reply
Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on August 13, 2001 3:34 PM
You mean a MUSIC VIDEO background like David Fincher, one of the best directors of our genration. GIve it a rest, Fred. You aren't going to spin your way out of this.
As for your non-bigot claim you've got some explaing to do for your X-files thread then you dolt. And stop hiding behind the "regular posters" if that were even true, then where are they while your ass is being kicked?
As for not caring what I think (or anyone else) then admit you can't let this thread go and move on. Otherwise, prove me right. Liar.
RE: DreamWorks Jumping Kung Fu Bandwagon reply
Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on August 13, 2001 3:47 PM
Fred,
After much deliberation, I feel I should appologize to you. At the time my boyfriend was acting like a jerk so I was in a bad mood. I guess that your OK, but I don't like "regulars" in general. Guys like you, %100, Walking Dead, SciFi Guy, Nut Sculptor, Tiny, Spider and the others strike me as being paranoid and silly. You yourself are obviously a smart man, why not use your smarts for more intelligent chatting. As a man, I am well aware that that opinions vary, but the ones you make can be quite asinine. Listen, sometimes I pick the dinkleberries out of my butt and chew on them, like you, that does not make me weird, just unique! Just....be yourself Freddy.
RE: DreamWorks Jumping Kung Fu Bandwagon reply
Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on August 13, 2001 4:01 PM
Compliments get you everywhere in life and I LOVE it when you're cute and cuddly. Don't apologize to me, but keep a little for yourself. I'll see you in the next thread--needles and all.
RE: DreamWorks Jumping Kung Fu Bandwagon reply
Posted by FredHater (fred_hater@hotmail.com) on August 13, 2001 4:01 PM
Fincher is good but his movies tend to fall into the style over substance category...I will admit, Fight Club was an excellent mixture of both, but Alien 3 and seven were mediocre at best.
I don't spin, I'm not a politician.
There is nothing anti-homosexual about my X-files string.
I can take care of myself and you wish you could kick my ass pencil neck.
I still don't care what you think of me you're just not getting the last word. Why don't you be a bigger man than me and walk away? Jerk.
RE: DreamWorks Jumping Kung Fu Bandwagon reply
Posted by FredHater (fred_hater@hotmail.com) on August 13, 2001 4:03 PM
After that email I feel like lighting a candle and taking a warm bath.
RE: DreamWorks Jumping Kung Fu Bandwagon reply
Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on August 13, 2001 4:22 PM
For those of you trying to figure out what happen to this Flame war. Fred, writing as a Shemp, bowed out. We'll get him in the next one. Seeya in the funny papers.
RE: DreamWorks Jumping Kung Fu Bandwagon reply
Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on August 13, 2001 4:52 PM
Don't rip on me just cause I dig guys, thats not just who I am, its what I am, and yes, you biggot, I'm homosexual, and damn proud of it. You got a problem with that, you can go straight to hell. Up yours Fred!
RE: DreamWorks Jumping Kung Fu Bandwagon reply
Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on August 13, 2001 4:55 PM
Not all SHEMPS are pusies but most of us are. Go Canada!
RE: DreamWorks Jumping Kung Fu Bandwagon reply
Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on August 13, 2001 4:58 PM
See Fred now you've done it. Where are your glorius backers now. You know what I'm referriing to by "backers". Right?
RE: DreamWorks Jumping Kung Fu Bandwagon reply
Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on August 13, 2001 5:26 PM
By "backers" of course I mean men that we love to fantasize about. Personaly I really dig Benjamin Brat, he is one hot dog!! I'd love to meet his nipples. Anyway Fred, lets end this with a handshake, like men.
RE: DreamWorks Jumping Kung Fu Bandwagon reply
Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on August 13, 2001 5:27 PM
Why should I walk away when you can run on. and on. and on. and on.
And don't BS any of us here. You are too spinning just like that severed hog's head in the NIN's "Closer" video. Except, of course, the hog's head has got to be prettier than you. It's only a guess, after all. You know all about guesses don't you, buddy boy.
RE: DreamWorks Jumping Kung Fu Bandwagon reply
Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on August 13, 2001 5:39 PM
Thanks for your encouragement other shemp, but Fred has left the building. Tell your boyfriend "Hi." Have a good night.
RE: DreamWorks Jumping Kung Fu Bandwagon reply
Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on August 13, 2001 10:30 PM
Does that make it easier to slip it into your "bad place" fred?
RE: DreamWorks Jumping Kung Fu Bandwagon reply
Posted by FredHater (fred_hater@hotmail.com) on August 14, 2001 6:36 AM
Aaaaah shaddap you losers I went home to my beautiful wife...but i'm BACK and ready to kick some ass.
I would NEVER post a stupid shemp email, its the weakest trick in the book. If you shemps don't want that crap to happen REGISTER!
RE: DreamWorks Jumping Kung Fu Bandwagon reply
Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on August 14, 2001 8:31 AM
Your "beautiful wife", and your beautiful house? Tell me Fred is this the part where you ask yourself: "How did I get here?"
Give us all a break. You know the "trick" then you are using it.
Back to the subject please. I'm going to remind you how you got here. You know good and well (or now you are about to be enlightened) that a director is not the soul driving force behind a movie. Just because you have preconceived notions about a director does not mean the movie will blow.
Here's a tip. It's the studios that put the controls on the movie. It's these studios with its underpinnings of bean counters that drive the industry. We, the moviegoers, are its fuel. If we all made a conscious effort to go to just the quality movies out there, then perhaps we wouldn't see so many sequels of crap coming out of the gates. nuff said?
RE: DreamWorks Jumping Kung Fu Bandwagon reply
Posted by FredHater (fred_hater@hotmail.com) on August 14, 2001 8:45 AM
My point exactly!!!
This movie is going to be an offensive piece of crap and anyone with any intuition will know it sight unseen.
Therefore if people ignore the hype that Dreamworks will attempt to generate around it, stupid movies like this one will never be made.
RE: DreamWorks Jumping Kung Fu Bandwagon reply
Posted by FredHater (fred_hater@hotmail.com) on August 14, 2001 8:57 AM
Then again, if it is an excellent movie I will gladly eat crow.
RE: DreamWorks Jumping Kung Fu Bandwagon reply
Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on August 14, 2001 9:22 AM
We're tilting at windmills here. You and I both know that the movie machine won't stop churning out the garbage.
What bothers me is this trend of chiken and egg lately. The market is flooded with crap. We go see said crap, hoping for something interesting. If this piece of crap shows any kind of numbers then the studio calls it a success and makes a SEQUEL. We're doomed with this because studios are less willing to risk anything to even try these days.
RE: DreamWorks Jumping Kung Fu Bandwagon reply
Posted by FredHater (fred_hater@hotmail.com) on August 14, 2001 9:32 AM
Yup...I'm thinking about taking the movie portion of my entertainment budget and investing in DVD's of good movies.
RE: DreamWorks Jumping Kung Fu Bandwagon reply
Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on August 14, 2001 9:47 AM
Same here. At least with most DVD's you get extras too.
RE: DreamWorks Jumping Kung Fu Bandwagon reply
Posted by FredHater (fred_hater@hotmail.com) on August 14, 2001 12:09 PM
This could be the start of an anti sh*tty/sequel movie movement
RE: DreamWorks Jumping Kung Fu Bandwagon reply
Posted by power-trip (powertripz@hotmail.com) on August 14, 2001 12:37 PM
Let's get it started! By the way I'm sure it would go without saying that we had another shemp in that thread. Perhaps they would join the movement too. (or keep eating there's--whatever)
RE: DreamWorks Jumping Kung Fu Bandwagon reply
Posted by FredHater (fred_hater@hotmail.com) on August 14, 2001 1:06 PM
Hey 100% you out there? Jack? Anyone interested in starting a grass roots ANTI-sequel-sh*tconcept-movie lobby?
RE: DreamWorks Jumping Kung Fu Bandwagon reply
Posted by 100% AMERICAN (hellskitchen_@hotmail.com) on August 15, 2001 9:55 AM
You can't tell me what to do.
RE: DreamWorks Jumping Kung Fu Bandwagon reply
Posted by FredHater (fred_hater@hotmail.com) on August 15, 2001 12:50 PM
Brilliantly laconic reply as usual old friend.
RE: DreamWorks Jumping Kung Fu Bandwagon reply
Posted by power-trip (powertripz@hotmail.com) on August 15, 2001 3:26 PM
He IS 100% American. I thought it was just a handle...
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 CAPTAIN AMERICA |
 CRAZY, STUPID, LOVE |
 THE SMURF |
 COWBOYS AND ALIENS |
 BAD TEACHER |
 MR. POPPERS PENGUINS |
 GREEN LANTERN |
