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By Jack June 6, 2001 11:55 AM
Once upon a time in a not so far away galaxy some filmmakers were making a movie that the entire population of one small planet was breathlessly awaiting. That movie was made and thousands of fans were let down, hard. That movie was "Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace", riddled with meaningless and annoying characters, scenes, lines and Jar Jar. This troubled fans beyond compare. Many people wept bitterly and then went back to their lives, making no attempt to correct this.
The movie was nominated for a whopping seven "worst" awards at the "Razzies", including worst picture of the year. (The film "won" for worst supporting actor for Ahmed Best, the voice of Jar-Jar Binks.) Many thought that this was the end of what was a great movie series.
Then it happened. A mystery filmmaker, going only by the name The Phantom Editor, addressed these concerns and released a new version of George Lucas? interstellar instalment. Re-edited and packaged as "The Phantom Edit" the ?new and improved? version created quite a stir, with fans climbing over each other to get their hands on a copy.
Running 20 minutes shorter than the theatrical release, The Phantom Edit is excised as much redundant material as possible. Jar Jar Binks has, unsurprisingly, been a casualty, with his role reduced as much as story coherence would allow. Other cuts have removed much of Anakin?s simpering and seen the underwater encounter with a giant sea-beast removed entirely.
While amateur takes on Star Wars are hardly new, what makes The Phantom Edit stand out is the seamlessness of the cuts and the professional feel of the finished product. The Internet has become a-buzz with rumour and speculation as to who is behind the mysterious Phantom Editor with Kevin Smith?s name dropped as a possible culprit ? though the director has denied responsibility.
While we may never know who is responsible for this, many fans will forever be indebted to this silent hero. And with that we honor you, Phantom Editor.
The Phantom Edit's Fan Page can be found here.
| comments: 22
RE: Die Jar Jar, Die 
reply
Posted by 110% American (hellskitchen__@hotmail.com) on June 6, 2001 1:33 PM
I heard Patrick Ewing paid for the edit job.
RE: Die Jar Jar, Die reply
Posted by peacefrog (oneprimal@hotmail.com) on June 7, 2001 3:38 AM
the only good jar jar is a dead jar jar
RE: Die Jar Jar, Die reply
Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on June 7, 2001 4:17 AM
I need this!
RE: Die Jar Jar, Die reply
Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on June 7, 2001 6:58 AM
Thank Christ.
RE: RE: Die Jar Jar, Die reply
Posted by The walking dead (robertdowneyjr@jail.com) on June 7, 2001 9:03 AM
Just shoot JAR JAR in the fecking head and name a tree after him!
phantom editor interview reply
Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on June 7, 2001 9:04 AM
http://www.zap2it.com/movies/news/story/0,1259,---6923,00.html
BLIND MAN CONQUERS MT. EVEREST reply
Posted by The walking dead (robertdowneyjr@jail.com) on June 7, 2001 9:13 AM
TOTALLY OFF SUBJECT.........
A man just conqured Mt. Everest, and he's blind. As he walked into a ceremonial hall to celebrate, a reporter yelled "HOW WAS THE VIEW" The blind man was humorous enough to reply to this idiotic question "the view? Breathtaking."
I found this hilarious so, I hope you do to.
RE: phantom editor interview reply
Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on June 8, 2001 12:02 AM
Well, I happen to love Jar Jar....I reckon he made the movie...me sir do...
Re i liked the movie reply
Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on June 9, 2001 2:40 PM
to all you winers who complain about jar jar shut the f**k up i like to see you do a movie like this your small little brains could not handle the pressure so until you do your own movies SHUT UP im a ture star wars fan i dont complain i just enjoy it and collect it bye for now jimbo944
RE: Re i liked the movie reply
Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on June 10, 2001 11:00 AM
*rubbing eyes* huh? ture star wars fan?
Define TURE... I'm sure you frigging mispelled it! GO and be buried with JarJar...
RE: Re i liked the movie reply
Posted by The walking dead (robertdowneyjr@jail.com) on June 11, 2001 1:08 PM
PUNCUATION PLEASE! THIS IS A SITE FOR EDUCATED PEOPLE.
RE: RE: Re i liked the movie reply
Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on June 11, 2001 3:36 PM
unfortunately an educated person would not have liked your earlier joke which was quite lame. So do us all a fovor and shut up.
RE: RE: Re i liked the movie reply
Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on June 11, 2001 6:48 PM
|PUNCUATION PLEASE!
So, what the hell are you doing here if this is a place for educated people?
RE: BLIND MAN CONQUERS MT. EVEREST reply
Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on June 11, 2001 7:33 PM
Here's something hilarious. It was perhaps the funniest thing I've seen all week. I was sitting in a restaurant, watching the people. There was music playing, and as I watched a VERY pregnant lady walked in cradling an infant to her shoulder. The woman began singing along to the song that was playing: "My Baby Loves the Hanky-Panky."
Now THAT'S hilarious....
RE: RE: RE: Re i liked the movie reply
Posted by Pumpkin Boy (pumpkin_pie_studios@hotmail.com) on June 11, 2001 7:35 PM
My God. George Lucas has brainwashed the little bastard. Not that I don't like Star Wars, mind you. But any self-respecting fan with more than a brain stem has got to admit that The Phantom Menace left a lot to be desired in terms of character and story.
Now, if only we could get that through our little Jar-Jar-Head's thick little head, everything would be just peachy.
And maybe a bit easier to read, too.
JAR-JAR-HEAD:
It's not too late to turn off the tv and go outside, fanboy!
Comb that hair,pop those zits, and put on some pants-- it's time to experience *gasp* THE REAL WORLD.....
RE: RE: BLIND MAN CONQUERS MT. EVEREST reply
Posted by Pumpkin Boy (pumpkin_pie_studios@hotmail.com) on June 11, 2001 7:45 PM
Speaking of Funny:
As I drove along smoking my first cigarette, the girl that had just minutes before taken my virginity away turned to me and said: What's that in your eye? Oh, it's the Spark of Innocence FADING!"
Jar Jar MUST Die reply
Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on June 12, 2001 4:28 AM
check out the humor section at:
www.jarjarmustdie.com.
Domain no longer exists per se, but the site still does, along with some great SW humor pieces.
RE: Worthless Pumpkin reply
Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on June 13, 2001 5:34 AM
Your about as funny and talented as Jar Jar.
RE: RE: Worthless Pumpkin reply
Posted by Pumpkin Boy (pumpkin_pie_studios@hotmail.com) on June 15, 2001 9:55 AM
Auto-erotic asphyxiation may help curb that anger problem.
RE: BLIND MAN CONQUERS MT. EVEREST reply
Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on April 30, 2003 6:21 AM
I found it funny
RE: BLIND MAN CONQUERS MT. EVEREST reply
Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on April 30, 2003 6:22 AM
I found it funny
By: Misty
Paugh
RE: Re i liked the movie reply
Posted by A random shemp (No Email) on April 30, 2003 6:25 AM
This place isn't just for educated people just to let ya know
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