From: (No Email available)

Date: 2001-08-07 09:49:57

Comment:

Dear George,

May I call you Jorge? If so, then why don't we name the new film "Star Wars: Attack of the Rancor Pinata".  That way, When a couple of drunk jedi's swing the sabers at the pinata, it can burst open and little bags of mexican crack can fall out and we can all smoke crack together and bang a couple of ewoks while we're at it.  That IS what you're planning with your latest installment of Star Wars, aren't ya Jorge?

Oh, that's right. You've come up with a much more sensible title in the same vein as your masterpeice breakthrough, The Phantom Plot, err, I mean the Phantom Menace. Well, last time I checked, Destro, Voltron, Optimus Prime, nor Skullitor will be making an appearance in your God Forsaken Episode 2, so why don't you do us all a favor and come up with a title that DOESN'T sound like a GoBot's saturday afternoon special.

In fact, sense you've seemed to have lost the ability to think clearly, may I suggest the following titles to use in leiu of your wiggidy bang bang BS title: "Attack of the Clones".

How about...  "Star Wars: When Clones Attack"

Or... "Star Wars: Dancing with Clones"

May I suggest... "Star Wars: Smokey and the Bandit Run Over Jar Jar with their supergalactic Firebird, The End" ?

Or if you must... "Mars Attacks!", "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes" or "Citizen Clone".

That's right silly little George, we will allow the richest man in Hollywood to wear Jordache Jeans and Ross Flannels, but we will NOT allow the progenitor of three (not 4) unparalleled Star Wars films make another blundering crackhead stab at a film a la the Phantom Menance.

We beg you: Join the rest of us here on planet earth who would prefer to anticipate the new Star Wars film with excitement rather than dread, and if you feel this letter is speaking to you then while you're at it, why not have Act 1: Scene 1 go like this:

Act 1

Scene 1

ext. Tatooine Surface

Jar Jar walks to the edge of a cliff, falls over the edge and dies.

...SOUND GOOD GEORGE!?! Good. Obi Wan HAS taught you well...

Rename the film.  Name it anything. But not "Attack of the Clones."  We beg you.  You are shaping the lives of many young jedi to come. Use the Force George. You came up with the whole thing. Why not use it?