From: (No Email available)

Date: 2000-12-07 00:29:48

Comment:

Do you meditate? It helped me give up alcohol. It seems a lame-ass thing to do at first until you realize how challenging it is to stop thinking. By focusing on your breathing something profound slowly enters your life. Not dull, but fascinating and powerful. It is a time every day when your life is your own and not anyone elses. Start with a book called THE RELAXATION RESPONSE. Clearly, there's shit you must deal with and a relaxed consciousness is more flexible to change and growth. Meditation can help you want to change. When I was a boozer (and etc.), I was just filling time in a curious way, almost as if I couldn't wait to get life over with. Just blur it all together and forget the bad parts. To be no one. Now I realize how much great stuff I missed and I'll never get that time back. But you know what? I learned so much. I don't think drugs are evil, I even believe in them, but they are not for me. I can't deal with them. You can't deal with them. I have my life back now. Quiting saved my marriage and brought me back in touch with my art. I'm not a speck anymore. Not pounded out flat every night. Everything is working perfectly. I don't know what will work for you; I'm not a therapist. But you're so obviously gifted. I don't know what that kind of attention is like, but it must be suffocating. Work to make time that is your own. Be selfish about that. That's actually what you are trying to do when you get high. But now, explore yourself instead. Yeah, it's a lot harder than snorting or knocking back a drink. But life isn't supposed to be easy. You're supposed to feel every damn step.